CARWASHING THE NEGATIVITY AWAY!!!
Apr 26, 2019
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sP0XoCl30nw

[Music]
to me this is going through a car wash
but it stands for how I am washing the
past of this last week my hard week
washing it away and going to start
afresh
and everything in between so yes we are
getting our car wash but I'm also
washing away the negative and keeping
with the positive that's one good way to
think about this
just giving us that good
good vibe weekend all that bad stuff
that what's been going on with me the
last couple weeks it's all gonna be gone
and we're gonna start fresh and clean
with a new slate and I even got some wax
to start fresh and new and make it all
nice and slippery
it's all just being taken away
look at that and now you can see clear
again because all the negativity is gone
hey guys and welcome to Friday I am just
doing a short quick check-in um so a few
updates I shall say first one is so a
lot of people have been questioning
asking if I've heard anything for my mom
like voice wise and yes I have I did
hear from her she called me yesterday
but I was still really worked up I was
still really upset and I just told her
you know what mom
I'm really frustrated with you right now
I love you but I will talk to you later
and as long as I heard her voice then I
knew I was pretty okay um so I hung up
with her she called me a couple times
last night like way late but I didn't
answer because it was way late I just
was gonna had gotten s for the bed and I
was just not I really wasn't in them
like mood to talk on the phone so she
called me this morning and I did answer
and we talked and I explained to her you
know the importance of when you call
somebody and you say something like that
you you set fear into something she's
like I wasn't I didn't I didn't I said
yes you did you may not understand or
realize what you did but you did and
she's like so if I didn't call you for a
couple days you're gonna set us you know
a search team and I said no no I
wouldn't if you wouldn't have called me
and told me you were lost and that you
were stranded basically I wouldn't have
worried so much because it is normal for
her to go a good week without calling me
that's not why I was upset why I was
emotionally upset was because when she
called me and told me she was lost
that's a whole nother scenario that's a
whole nother story so we're not talking
oh she just went absent and didn't call
me no you went absent without calling
after leaving a message that you were
lost and you didn't have a phone and all
this other stuff I said so that's where
I got upset and that's where my
frustration and anger came in was for
those reasons and so we talked it out
and we hashed it out you know and I just
told her I said
you know I love you you know you are my
mother no matter what kind of a
relationship we typically have you know
it's doon we aren't very close and I
guess through this whole situation it's
really showed me that I really don't
know much about my mom in a lot of ways
we are not very close and I think that
that goes because you know she didn't
she didn't typically she didn't raise me
I mean she had custody of me until I was
seven but within the even those first
seven years of my life pretty much my
older brother raised me and I raised
myself so we don't have so we really
don't have that relationship of a what a
mother and daughter would be and so it
is easy for us to go time without
talking and it being basically a normal
relationship characteristic in our kin
arm in our relationship but when you
call somebody and you leave a message
like that got such a broad opened
relationship I mean conversation that
anything could be have happened and
she's like well I'm sure somebody would
have got ahold of you if I was dead on
the side of the road and I said not
really I don't know that I don't know
that because when I went up to your home
when my family drove to your home your
husband pretty much excused the whole
situation by laughing in my face and
saying I'm overreacting so I don't know
if he would have really took the time to
tell me that my mother passed away or
whatever so anyways we did talk it out
though and you know and we're fine but I
just told her you know this type of
stuff can't happen again like I can't
put myself through that
if you're lost and you can't be found
but you're fine don't call me you have
multiple other numbers to call call all
those other numbers but don't call me
because I can't
emotionally I can't I can't I can't help
but stress when somebody is in distress
and so I just told her so that is just
something we are going to put a boundary
up of you are not to call me if it's not
an emergency and you're fine you're just
lost or whatever don't call me and you
know I said what would you how would you
feel and this is where it really showed
me that we don't really have that
relationship of what a mother and
daughter would be as I said what would
how would you feel if I was on the road
somewhere
and I told you hey I'm lost I don't have
a phone
please call me this is an emergency this
is very important I can't get ahold of
oli at home or whatever and then I go am
ia for three days and you don't hear
from me I said what would you think and
she said well I would imagine you got
home safely like I wouldn't have I
wouldn't have acted the way you did and
I was like wow because for me if my
daughter or my son called me and said
the exact same words that you told me
and then they went am IA for him on me
for the that amount of time you better
believe that I would be a sick dog you
know I would be sick freaking out
wondering something happened to my
babies so yeah it just you know
everything worked out I you know I I
realized that me and my mom are on two
different levels communication is key in
all relationships but it's very hard to
have communication when one of the you
know one of the people on their lack
communication so anyways she is safe she
is fine I guess she didn't have she
didn't take the address to where she was
going she didn't have the lady's number
to where she was going and she got
really tired driving she was almost out
of gas and so she went to a frantic
because she couldn't figure out you know
she couldn't get ahold of her husband at
home and
every number she called she couldn't you
know she couldn't get ahold of her or
ahold of them and also I wasn't the only
one that had tripped out about it
because she called her mom and her mom
freaked out on her too I want to say it
was yesterday said you know you went how
many days without calling me to tell me
that you got home so it wasn't just me
it was somebody else too that had the
same exact reaction that I did so I know
my reaction was not overreacting and I
know that my reaction was what a
reaction should be for somebody that
would be in a scene you know and in this
day and age you hear on the news all the
time people missing people showing up
dead you know all these things women
going on these road trips and they never
get to their destination and their
bodies are found you know weeks later
those things are real in this world
right now so I don't think I jump to any
underline I don't think that I jumped to
a conclusion that would be rational for
what the situation was if that makes
sense I'm trying to use the right
wording here
so if I'm not I'm sorry so anyways she's
fine
she did get home she got home at like
1:30 in the morning Tuesday morning and
her phone lines were down she locked
herself out of her cell phone she has to
take her cell phone to a corporate or
something to get it open and I said
either way you always could find
communication somewhere you could have
found something to call me
I don't excuse that you know this is
something very very very very serious
and I don't want something like this to
ever happen again because I can't
emotionally and mentally I I can't put
myself through that again so she knew I
was pretty upset but we got it taken
care of she is safe I've talked to her
you know she just she really you know
and that's the other thing is that shows
that she's not a very responsible like
not very responsible in preparing like
why would you leave somewhere why would
you drive all the way out to somewhere
five hours away or four hours away or
whatever without having the address to
where you're gonna go if you don't know
where you're going she's like well I
thought that I knew until I got up there
and then all the houses start looking
the same well okay this isn't a normal
place that you go so if it's not a
normal place that you go why wouldn't
you take then this takes something you
know and I'm like that is being
unprepared I'm like you need to be more
prepared more logical when you're gonna
take a trip like this make sure you've
got enough sleep especially if you know
you're gonna be driving for a long
distance make sure that you are 100%
prepared for for the worst you know and
God forbid the worst happened at least
you will be prepared but if you're not
prepared and the worst happen things
cannot turn out right sometimes and you
know I told her I said you know you're
my mom you're my mother
no matter how close we are or whatever
at the end of the day you're my only
parent I truly have my father is dead I
don't have a relationship with my
brother and my mom is the only family I
have on my side I have an abundance
amount of family on Ali's side and I
love them to death and they are my
family but for my own side she is all I
God so if God forbid something happened
I told her I said you know and she's
like well even if something did happen
what were you gonna do and I said mom
how inconsiderate I said what would I do
what do you think I would do you know I
said no matter what I'm next to kin when
it comes to that you know as me my
brother and her husband but anyways
enough with all that but I did go to
Dollar Tree I went to Target and then I
went to Michael's I took the kids with
me we all got out of the house someone
had some fun all he had a job to do
today and then my bunny ears all he had
a job to do today and then he went and
did prayer and stuff and so I was like
you know why it is a beautiful day let's
go let's get out of here and just go and
have some fun I took him and got some
ice cream with them
and I was gonna take him to the park but
Esther was starting to get really sleepy
and sob like yeah I think we'll wait on
the park but tomorrow's supposed to be a
really pretty day too so I think
tomorrow we might do the park but I
wanted to get her home so she could take
a little nap and then we're gonna go to
Walmart and go do clothes shopping for
the two babies for girls I was gonna go
the other day but it didn't work anyways
so I picked up this fur from Michaels
this is what I use for the coating of my
glass on my cups my tumblers so I had to
pick up another one of those because I'm
completely out and then target the kids
but all picked a little toy thing but I
picked these because I'm gonna make
these into my molding I'm gonna make
these okay okay go out let me finish
this really quick and then I will be out
so I picked up these they're just a
little erasers but I'm gonna mold them
hey so I picked up these they're like
little erasers and I'm gonna mold them
so fine so I picked up those and I
picked up flamingos I don't know what
I'm gonna do so much with these just yet
but they're so fun so I picked up those
they're just erasers but I'm gonna like
I said I'm gonna put him into little
molds and so that will be fun and then
from Dollar Tree I picked up some Beauty
goodies I picked up what are these these
are favors surprises oh you put like a
little thing in them but I picked them
up for Omar Ness or because they like
blocks so I just picked up a set of
those the like to stick little trinket
things and out trinkets trinkets I think
they're called I think these are 38
ounces they're BPA free but they're just
you can carry it and it's just a water
bottle I got it for this one for Ezra
for when we're in the car cuz they get
thirsty and I feel bad so this one
we can put ice in it and put some water
in it and I can put some drops in it and
there you go there's a thing trying to
think yeah it's just says double-wall
canteen 38 ounces so cool deal so I got
a pink one for her
Jeremiah didn't want one so he doesn't
really need one but picked up another
one this one's for Omar and I picked up
some more gift wrap paper cuz I need it
for a bag that I'm putting together some
headbands because like when I'm home and
I like throw my hair up in a bun I like
to put these around here with my bun so
they're really comfortable so I picked
up those I also picked up this is a desk
stamp in so I picked this up because I'm
gonna put it on my clipboard and that
way I always have a pink site seem to
always lose my pins always so I picked
up that one just what the goodies did I
get oh and then I picked up some more of
these these are zoom zoom zoom
Thun Thun I don't know how to say it
anyways
it's like stickers you can do a whole
bunch of fun things with it but I'm
actually going to use these I use these
for under my cups and things like that
little secrets secret secrets but
they're really cute like look how cute
are those huh anyways umm if I don't use
them all probably like no more necessary
play with them and then I picked up
these look how pretty these are aren't
those pretty
and they're double-walled our
double-walled they're handmade but
they're like stacked so I think they're
really pretty and I like to when I go to
seal my envelopes and stuff I like to
stick a sticker so
got that and then I picked up fashion
pins it's just a pack of different ones
flowers all sorts of pretty ones but I
picked up those and then I picked up
this is so pretty and the fun thing
about okay so here's the but you can
take this out and put a picture in it of
your own choice two pictures so I picked
that up and let's see this is probably
24 ounces or something like that but
anyways it's a water bottle it has the
lock straw it opens up like this so you
could put ice and stuff in it and then
it also has the cap here so you give me
if you don't want to use a straw you
could just drink out of it here and I
picked up pink and this is for Mama go
might ask my if you wonder when he's
like now teenagers I swear I jars
anyways and then I picked up a gift bag
because I needed it for one of my one of
my deliveries I been doing that so and
then I just picked up some more string
because I always always always wrap my
orders so and then last but not least I
picked up twelve balloons of happy faces
because my babies love balloons and why
not right
but anyways that is it you guys that is
my haul that I would just show you guys
really quick what all I got and now
we're gonna head off to Walmart so I
will show you guys what I bought there
but I will put that in tomorrow's vlog
so be staying tuned because I have obese
and pregnant video too that should be
coming up tomorrow morning so stay tuned
I will see you guys again tomorrow
morning
happy Friday and I hope you guys have an
amazing weekend bye bye
